Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
