what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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