We're like a lot better than the average bears
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I just want to make out with him forever
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
