You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
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