love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
