babies were throwing up all over the place
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Less talking, more tequila
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
