I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
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