Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
