My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
