Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
