oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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