Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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