The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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