Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
