dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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