don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I love having hate sex.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
