Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Randomize
