You don't have asthma, your pregnant
worst night to have a conscience
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
