omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize