How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
