so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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