they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
did you just send me my own nude
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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