just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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