I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
