why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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