I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
My Higher Power is John Stamos
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize
