Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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