Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
