i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Randomize
