I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
my poor anus
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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