The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I love you. Go after that dick
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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