come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Randomize
