p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
