ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Houston, we have a blender
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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