so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
