Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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