If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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