so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
