i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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