my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Randomize
