thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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