Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
