Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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