I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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