i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
