you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
i think i just lost a toe
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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