Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
