you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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