i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
