I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
