Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
