maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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