the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
