its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
there was a trapeze. enough said
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
