Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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