i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
