Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
