Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
