Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
They took my balls.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize