Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
