did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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