Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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