You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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