Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
