Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
it's great music for shaving your balls
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
