Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
