we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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