I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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